This review was last updated in April 2019.
Though alcohol is responsible for most work-related accidents, employers don't test for alcohol.
Instead, the booming drug test industry is built around the fantasy notion that if you shared a joint with a group of people a week before your drug test that you somehow represent a danger to society and your fellow workers.
This madness needs to stop. But it doesn’t seem like it will any time soon.
That means you need products to help in order to keep the 4 billion dollar drug testing business from making a victim out of you.
Perfect Urine pack promises to be that help. Is it?
What Is Perfect Urine?
Perfect Urine is a synthetic urine product - marketed as a fetish simulator product - that is most widely used to help people save their careers from company administered drug tests. It claims to be based on a perfect synthetic urine formula that is indistinguishable from human pee.
Funny thing about this product is that, although it has been around for some time, it doesn't seem to have any particular business entity behind it.
The name is registered to a company called 513 Ventures. But if you didn't do some digging, you'd never know that.
In addition, there is little customer feedback about it floating around in cyberspace -- which should be a big red flag.
Why isn't anyone chiming in about their experience with this synthetic urine? Very odd indeed.
Compare the almost complete anonymity of Perfect Urine with the high profile of Quick Fix. They have been around about the same amount of time.
Yet, there have been gallons of digital ink spilled by customers sharing their experience with Quick Fix and almost nothing from the Perfect Urine crowd.
What Are the Ingredients?
Perfect Urine purports to have the exact same chemical makeup as human pee. The same pH level, the same specific gravity, the same balance of creatinine, uric acid and urea.
However, because they hide their exact ingredient amounts behind a proprietary label and there is no legal requirement for them to disclose ingredients, we’re left to trust that there’s nothing illegal.
But it would be a lot easier to trust them if there was as much customer input online regarding this fake piss fetish items as there is for other brands.
What we do know is that you get a 3oz bottle of Perfect Urine already mixed, a hand warmer to keep it “human” temperature, a strap, a promise that it’s not illegal, and some instructions on how to use it.
That’s about what you get with other alternative pee products. So, there’s nothing to distinguish it here in either a positive or negative way.
Does Perfect Urine Work?
While we want to sing the praises of any legitimate products that can help people reclaim a bit of their privacy we can’t bring ourselves to just blindly cheerlead products that don't pass real-world muster.
Doing so would do a disservice to our readers.
At the same time, we're not going to just trash this or any synthetic urine without saying what we find problematic.
So, what’s wrong with this substance?
Well, let's start with the color which we feel looks a bit off.
Have you ever gone a day without drinking enough water? At the end of that day, you'll be lucky to squeeze a couple of ounces of bright yellow pee from your body. That’s kind of what this stuff looks like. Only not realistic bright yellow pee.
Then, there’s the smell of this piss. It should be illegal.
On top of that is the complete lack of testimonials from actual real-world users who may have had success with this synthetic urine.
It’s hard to put your career on the line for what is essentially a complete unknown.
And then there’s the claim that the heating element in this urine delivery system will keep your sample body temperature for 8 hours.
Let’s just say that when it’s 25 degrees Fahrenheit out, 8 hours ain’t happening.
Still, if the weather outside is warm and you are lucky enough to deal with technicians who don’t care one way or the other, it may work for you.
But why would you take a chance when you can use a proven commodity like Quick Fix?
How Much Does It Cost?
Although it’s not the most expensive synthetic urine on the market, Perfect Urine isn't cheap. Which is kind of head-scratching when you consider its characteristics.
A 3oz bottle will cost around $40.
That's considerably more than Quick Fix, which has an untold number of satisfied customers willing to sing its praises.
Sure, Perfect Urine offers shipping to just about anywhere but what does that matter if the product doesn’t work?
Where Can I Buy Perfect Urine?
If you're the risk-taking type, you can pick up this fetish synthetic urine from the Perfect Urine website.
While you’re there check out their FAQ page. You’ll notice it only has shipping info and no FAQs about the item itself.
And that should tell you something.
If you don’t want to play Russian roulette with your career, pick up something better instead.
We’d love to be able to add Perfect Urine pack to the list of products that will help people deal with ever more intrusive drug testing.
Unfortunately, at this time we can’t do so in good conscience. There’s just too many unanswered questions and too many things about this product that don’t sit right.
If you’re facing an imminent piss test, skip the detox drinks and time trying to flush your system with gallons of water and get yourself some good, affordable, and reliable Quick Fix instead.
Shipping is free and it will prevent you losing your job or being remanded to a detox.