Dude, we get it. You’ve just crushed an interview for a cushy new job and you’re feeling pretty good about your odds of getting hired. In fact, you feel so confident you’re already working out how to spend your first paycheck.
Ka-ching! Dollar signs in your eyes.
As the interviewer shakes your hand and practically begs you to take the job (okay, maybe they don’t beg you...but that’s what it feels like because you f*ckng NAILED that interview) they give the one line you’ve been dreading — “Just one easy drug urinalysis test and the job’s all yours! You can take it now.”
Your eyes might go a little wide in panic for a second, but you quickly collect yourself, smile and nod in false-confidence. I mean, yeah, you want the job - but not at the expense of your lifestyle, right?
The interviewer is none the wiser, but you’re left walking away wondering how the hell you’re going to pass an emergency piss assessment without any warning. That’s where we’ve got your back dude.
Whether you just had a fantastic weekend, or appreciate a little daily wake-and-bake, you know that this stuff stays in your system for days, if not weeks, and can be easily identified in standard human urine tests.
In order to land this hot new gig, you CANNOT risk failing the drug assessment. Don’t worry man, we’ve tried this (a LOT) - you’re totally fine. With a little preparation, you don’t have to sacrifice your lifestyle to pass a piss test at work.
Here’s the deal:
Most people have learned already that pee detox kits don't consistently work in filtering your body and are not reliable. But luckily there is an alternative. There's actually fake urine for drug tests that is available for purchase that can pass 100% of the time. This thing has been popularized as of late because of the rise of drug use in so many different countries. People all over the world are looking for solutions left and right, and right now this is the best synthetic pee to a mandatory urinalysis.
Feeling a little skeptical (with an underlying sense of hope) at the thought of using a synthetic urine kit?. We can’t blame you. There is a ton of shady information out there, and we’re sad to report that the majority is complete bullshit that you need to filter out. But for the sake of helping a brother out, we will give you the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the effectiveness of these synthetic urine products that are so popular right now on the market. We will show you which one is the best synthetic piss today.
In fact, there’s so much information it can be incredibly overwhelming and leave you feeling more confused about the subject than when you first started researching it.
Luckily for you, we’re here to wade through all the shit, but more importantly, to help you pass your next piss test. Take a second, get educated, and enjoy. Here’s what you need to know, bro.
How Does Synthetic Urine Work Against Lab Tests?
Here’s the stoner answer: A synthetic urine test kit is essentially a system that provides you with fake human pee. That’s it.
So how does it work? Simply put, artificial urine mimics your body’s natural human pee, but without the toxins or drugs. Now, we know this sounds kind of disgusting, but let’s be honest, it’s a hell of a lot cleaner than your actual piss even if you filter it. It’s fake dude! Grow a pair.
As you can imagine, labs around the world are constantly upgrading their testing processes and making new developments in the hopes of detecting fake urine samples, among other things. What we do know for sure is that these lab tests still active look for uric acid levels.
So, does it work and will it give you great results on your lab test or urinalysis?
A high-end synthetic urine product will mimic uric acid, allowing you to pass your piss assessment with flying colors (mostly yellow).
It is important to note that synthetic urine kits absolutely work, but you have to do it RIGHT for it to be guaranteed to work. Which is why we’ve created a pretty simple guide to making sure you don’t f*ck it up.
If you’ve ever taken a regular urine sample in your life before — you know, the one where you have to pee into a clean cup and try not to piss all over your hands — then you know your pee comes out warm.
Many users are trying to hide traces of cocaine, marijuana, nicotine, opiates or even alcohol when passing a urinalysis test. Depending on when you took the substance, the detection time will vary. That's why choosing the right synthetic urine is crucial.
Resource #1: Here's a Chart Representing Drug Detection Times
Every substance that enters your body must go through the natural process of metabolism. Whether it's alcohol, cannabis, or any other type of drug, it leaves traces in your urine and blood. Once a substance is ingested, it will have a detection period where it will show up in a drug screen or a lab test.
Certain factors can influence the time frame such as age, body fat, the frequency of use and physical condition. So, if your best buddy passed the test after smoking some pot last week, it does not automatically mean you will pass, as everyone has different detection times. Underestimating how long the drug stays in your system, is one of the main reasons why most people fail.
Urine and blood tests are by far the most common used by employees as they can detect a wide variety of drugs. This is why synthetic urine has become so popular. It ensures no matter what drug you have taken; it won't show up in a lab test.
Resource #2: Urine Drug Test Fact... Water doesn't help
Drinking lots of water before the test will not help you pass the test. Many users believe they can cheat the test by trying to dilute their urine before the test, but it has very little impact. I advise you not to try that method.
How to Prepare for a Test Using Synthetic Urine
Once you’ve got your hands on a good piss test kit, it is crucial that you only mix the product right before you are about to drop your sample off at the lab. If it’s unsupervised, you’re golden - easy peasy.
If you have to take a urinalysis in front of a witness or at the lab itself, then scroll further to learn the top ways on how to hide synthetic urine on assessment day.
As we mentioned before, the temperature of your fake urine is key. If you can take the kit at home and then drop it off, place the mixture containing your fake pee in the microwave for 10-15 seconds.
To keep it feeling fresh and warm, keep it wrapped in a heating pad to maintain the temperature. Normal pee samples are between 94-100°F. This may sound absurd, but just remember, the piss isn’t real! Most legit brands come with instructions and a special heating pad to make sure you do it right.
Store it in your pocket or bag, one that is big enough to hide a small warming pad discretely, and then hand it off to the lab technician as quickly as possible. Synthetics pee will cool off much faster than the real stuff, so keep this in mind. Usually, with the good brands, you’ve got about 6 hours of leeway time.
Q: How Long is Synthetic Urine Good For?
Not sure how long your clean pee will last? Fair question.
A high-quality product can last up to two years, as long as it has not been opened. Once you open the bag and create the mixture, you have very little time to use it before your results can be compromised.
Again, it all depends on the brand you choose, so going higher end is better than cheaping out and paying the consequences later. It’s worth it.
If you don’t intend on using your fake piss kit right away then be sure to store the unused kit at room temperature and in a dark spot, away from any direct sunlight. Excessive heat or direct sunlight can affect the pH balance and affect your results when you do go to use it.
Q: Can Fake Piss Be Detected?
There is a number of synthetic urine reviews out there that claim that it's impossible for fake urine to be detected by a lab test but that's not true. The short answer is yes it can get detected. BUT - if you do this correctly you CAN fake a piss exam.
Okay, so that’s not what you want to hear, but here’s the thing, if you don’t buy a quality product, store it correctly in its bag, and follow the instructions perfectly, of course, it can be detected.
Fun fact though, drug testing labs actually use synthetic urine to calibrate their urine screening equipment, so when used correctly it is easy to trick the system. Just make sure you follow the instructions on the package EXACTLY.
Q: How to Use Synthetic Urine Properly?
I'm sure that this question has gone through your head a few times and you might still be unsure how to use this particular product to get through your upcoming urinalysis. Well, the fake pee alone is half the battle when it comes to beating a drug test. Once you have bought a synthetic urine that works, the next thing that you need is urination device that will pass for the real thing. It doesn't matter how good your pee is, without a working urination device it won't get through a supervised test. The most popular ones today that you can use to carry your synthetic urine are Monkey Whizz and Monkey Dong.
Q: Is there Unisex Synthetic Urine Available?
You may be wondering if all fake pee kits work for both men and women. It’s actually not a stupid question - chicks and dudes pee differently, right? Most pee kits are unisex, meaning they can be used safely by both girls and guys. Standard lab tests do not typically analyze for gender, meaning you are free and clear.
Actually, most drug assessments are only looking for a few common elements in clean pee including, pH levels, creatinine levels, uric acid, nitrate, urea, glutaraldehyde, as well as color, odor, and temperature.
Nitrates, urea and glutaraldehyde are all new compounds being tested because they are not naturally present in pee and will automatically tip off lab technicians that your sample is fake.
What you DO need is a delivery system that’s made for your gender. If you’re doing an unsupervised assessment it doesn’t matter - you can just pour the fake pee in the clean cup. But if it’s supervised, and you're a male, you’re going to need a system like the reliable Monkey Dong to fake the actual act of peeing.
Is There a Product Just For Women?
There are synthetic urine kits available on the internet that is advertised solely to women, but don’t be fooled — there is nothing outstanding or different about these products, except maybe for their price tag. Like we said, the only thing that’s going to be different for the ladies is the system to fake the actual act of taking a wizz.
Some brands have created fancy kits for dispensing pee discretely, which is designed for males or females, but otherwise, there is no true difference. We can’t drive home this point enough, though — you must get yourself a high-quality synthetic urine brand if you want to pass your next assessment.
They are NOT all created equal. In our experience, Quick Fix is the only brand of synthetic pee that has never failed a urinalysis and quite possibly the only urine that is not detectable. Check out our reviews on that brand for more info.
How to Hide Fake Pee When Taking a Piss Test
So you’ve prepared your fake piss, it’s all warmed up and ready to go, but what do you do if you have to take the exam at a lab facility (instead of your home) or God forbid, in front of a witness?
Let’s get real for a second, the freakout part about using artificial piss is the possibility that you might get caught by detection protocols. We get it. It’s terrifying. The last thing you want is your Saturday night cocaine, marijuana or your alcohol from last night to show up. How will you explain the failed lab test?
I've been there, I once went for a truck driving job so of course, they wanted me to take a piss test (no it wasn't my dream job, but it paid the bills and who doesn't want to be paid $30 an hour to sit on their ass and just drive). This was the first time I decided to use fake urine to pass a test, and I was so nervous.
I brought the pouch of artificial pee and had it carefully sitting inside my jocks. Luckily for me, this time they didn't stand in the room to witness the process, but there was nowhere to stash the evidence (the pouch) after I emptied the piss into a clean cup, and panic set in. So, as an amateur, I just popped it back in my jocks and hoped it wouldn't slip through my pants. But this is me we are talking about so of course, it did.
As I was walking out the door, the pouch fell to the floor and was in full sight, but luckily the women at the desk weren't looking, and I quickly knelt down, pretended to tie my shoe laces and swept the pouch up my sleeve, like a fricking magician! It was a lucky save and I got the job, but this is a great story of what not to do.
Luckily for you, we have discovered several sneaky methods for how to hide synthetic pee when taking a piss exam so you don’t get caught. We’ve actually tested these and they work.
Here are a few ideas for you:
- Wear a belt and attach a bag of your artificial pee to it. Some manufacturers like Quick Fix have actually created special belts for this very job, but you don’t have to get fancy; just crafty. Depending on who is doing the exam and why it is being done, you may be asked to prove that you are not hiding anything in your pants. It’s always best to prepare for the worst, so sport your belt higher up on your torso. Place it anywhere between your navel and chest and you should be safe.
- One of the best places to hide your fake pee is by taping a satchel of it to your inner thigh. This is just enough out of range that if you are asked to pull down your pants and pull up your shirt, the tester will not see anything.
- For all the ladies out there, use the clean cup of your bra to plump up your cleavage and store your fake wee. It sounds gross - but remember, it’s fake. So no big deal.
- Get your hands on a prosthetic penis that contains a pouch full of your fake pee and looks very real. The Monkey Dong is our brand of choice since it’s the only one that actually looks like a real dick. I've taken over 30 drug tests in my former career in the military and it's worked every time. Not once has it been it detected.
- If you feel like getting down and dirty you can purchase small vinyl pouches that can be inserted into your no-no parts. The upside to the obvious downside is that it will keep your fake pee warm naturally so you don’t have to worry about heating it up or trying to find a place to hide heating pads.
Synthetic Pee Reviews: Which is the Best?
Our #1 Choice Quick Fix
So what is the best synthetic urine on the market? Well first and foremost, if you're going to use fake piss for a drug test, you need to buy a reputable brand online or near you. There are plenty of scams on the internet, but our favorite product Quick Fix has an extremely high success rate. In fact, I've never heard of it actually failing (read my Quick Fix review). To be blunt, crappy products will yield negative results, and you will not pass your urine test.
Other products are available of course and can work, but they also have a much higher chance of failure than our preferred choice. We've covered these other products in full and you can check out our opinions by visiting the links below.
How Much Does it Cost?
Alright, so let’s talk cash-o-la. By now you’re probably wondering what the cost of passing your piss test is going to be and are anxiously grinding at the bit to see just how much you’ll need to invest in order to maintain your lifestyle.
The good news is, synthetic piss costs anywhere between $30-100+ at a sale price. Depending on the brand and type of product you buy, as well as any additional tools you may need to make it work (heating pads, vinyl pouches, fake urine belts, etc.), this can be one of the cheapest plays you can make or a wallet-busting experience. The good news is - now you’ll have this awesome job to cover it.
Where to Buy Synthetic Urine?
So, how do you get your hands on a high-quality product in stores, one that will stand up against all the current laboratory tests, and help you pass your test? Can you get it online or can you get it locally at stores or even smoke shops near you? There is only one place to go and that is the internet. Unfortunately, there are so many copycat brands and scammers out there you really need to be careful when making your purchase.
One of the most searched terms on Google is "synthetic urine near me". However, the best place to buy fake piss is directly from the manufacturer's official website. This will help you avoid fake products that you may discover on eBay or Amazon using the same brand name.
Sometimes scammers even sell EXPIRED products at a discount sale price on Amazon and Ebay, which will NOT work during the exam. Don’t get ripped off - just get it straight from the source where you are guaranteed the best sale price.
As we mentioned earlier...
Choose a product that contains uric acid, one of the most commonly tested components found in real piss. You will also want to get a brand that can be heated up so you can get it to the right temperature — another tell-tale sign of fake vs. real pee.
Finally, choose a product like Quick Fix that has a shelf life of at least one year. This way you don’t have to worry about using it right away or wondering whether or not it will cut the mustard on your big day.
Do not trust the ones in your local stores or smoke shops near you.
All of the information listed above should be readily available on the website of a reputable brand, and if it’s not then you should either reach out to the manufacturer or move on to something else. When it comes to using fake pee for a drug test, you don’t want to take any more risks than you already are.
Plan ahead, do your research and then reap the rewards of passing your piss exam. So the question "does synthetic urine work" has certainly been answered with a hell yeah.
Synthetic urine kits may sound a little too good to be true, but the truth is, products on the market keep getting better and better, and these handy kits can really help you out of a jam. It does not matter if you have taken cocaine, alcohol or marijuana, I'm confident that you will pass your next piss assessment if you follow my lead.
I've tried them all, I've tested them all - and Quick Fix really works. It really is the best fake urine available. Party on dude! You’re safe if you do it right. So if you're looking to pass a urine drug test in 24hrs, 2 days, 1 week or even 2 weeks, whatever your deadline is, then Quick Fix is the best synthetic urine your going to get your hands on.