Dude, we get it. You’ve just crushed an interview for a cushy new job and you’re feeling pretty good about your odds of getting hired. In fact, you feel so confident you’re already working out how to spend your first pay check.
Ka-ching! Dollar signs in your eyes.
As the interviewer shakes your hand and practically begs you to take the job (okay, maybe they don’t beg you...but that’s what it feels like because you f*ckng NAILED that interview) they give the one line you’ve been dreading — “Just one easy drug test and the job’s all yours! You can take it now.”
Your eyes might go a little wide in panic for second, but you quickly collect yourself, smile and nod in false-confidence. I mean, yeah, you want the job - but not at the expense of your lifestyle, right?
The interviewer is none the wiser, but you’re left walking away wondering how the hell you’re going to pass an emergency piss assessment without any warning. That’s where we’ve got your back dude.
Whether you just had a fantastic weekend, or appreciate a little daily wake-and-bake, you know that this stuff stays in your system for days, if not weeks, and can be easily identified in standard urine tests.
In order to land this hot new gig, you CANNOT risk failing the drug assessment. Don’t worry man, we’ve tried this (a LOT) - you’re totally fine. With a little preparation, you don’t have to sacrifice your lifestyle to pass a piss test at work.
Most people have learned already that pee detox kits don't consistently work and are not reliable. But luckily there is an alternative. There's actually fake urine available for purchase that can pass 100% of the time.
Feeling a little skeptical (with an underlying sense of hope) at the thought of using a synthetic urine kit? We can’t blame you. There is a ton of shady information out there, and we’re sad to report that the majority is complete bullshit. In fact, there’s so much information it can be incredibly overwhelming and leave you feeling more confused about the subject than when you first started researching it.
Luckily for you, we’re here to wade through all the shit, but more importantly, to help you pass your next piss test. Take a second, get educated, and enjoy. Here’s what you need to know, bro.
How Does A Fake Piss Test Actually Work?
Here’s the stoner answer: A Synthetic Urine Test Kit is essentially a system that provides you with fake pee. That’s it.
So how does it work? Simply put, artificial urine mimics your body’s natural pee, but without the toxins or drugs. Now, we know this sounds kind of disgusting, but let’s be honest, it’s a hell of a lot cleaner than your actual piss. It’s fake dude! Grow a pair.
As you can imagine, labs around the world are constantly upgrading their testing processes and making new developments in the hopes of detecting fake urine samples, among other things. What we do know for sure is that these lab tests still active look for uric acid levels.
A high-end synthetic urine product will mimic uric acid, allowing you to pass your piss assessment with flying colours (mostly yellow).
It is important to note that while a synthetic piss kit will absolutely work, you have to do it RIGHT for it to be guaranteed to work. Which is why we’ve created a pretty simple guide to making sure you don’t f*ck it up.
If you’ve ever taken a regular urine sample in your life before — you know, the one where you have to pee into a cup and try not to piss all over your hands — then you know your pee comes out warm. The temperature of your urine (or in this case, your artificial urine) will affect the outcome of your drug test. What you may NOT know is that your urine also contains some compounds which identify it as a substance from the human body.
Many users are trying to hide traces of cocaine, marijuana, nicotine, opiates or even alcohol when passing a urinalysis test. Depending on when you took the substance, the detection time will vary. That's why choosing the right synthetic urine is crucial.
Urine Drug Test Facts
- Drinking lots of water before the test will not help you pass the test. Many users believe they can cheat the test by trying to dilute their urine before the test, but it has very little impact. I advise you not to try that method.
- Different drugs stay in your system longer than others. Many drug users believe that every drug is equal, when in fact, it's the complete opposite. For example, depending on the volume of alcohol you have consumed it can take up to 24hrs for it to leave your system completely. Unlike marijuana, in extreme cases, it can take up to 2 months.
- 64% of all accidents at work are related to either drugs or alcohol. The U.S. Government states that it costs over $75 billion every year due to drug use at work.
Once you’ve got your hands on a good piss test kit, it is crucial that you only mix the product right before you are about to drop your sample off at the lab. If it’s unsupervised, you’re golden - easy peasy. If you have to take a pee test in front of a witness or at the lab itself, then scroll further to learn the top ways on how to hide synthetic urine on assessment day.
As we mentioned before, the temperature of your fake urine is key. If you can take the kit at home and then drop it off, place the mixture containing your fake pee in the microwave for 10-15 seconds. To keep it feeling fresh and warm, keep it wrapped in a heating pad to maintain the temperature. Normal pee samples are between 94-100°F. This may sound absurd, but just remember, the piss isn’t real! Most legit brands come with instructions and a special heating pad to make sure you do it right.
Store it in your pocket or bag, one that is big enough to hide a small warming pad discretely, and then hand it off to the lab technician as quickly as possible. Fake pee will cool off much faster than the real stuff, so keep this in mind. Usually with the good brands you’ve got about 6 hours of leeway time.
How Long is the Product Good For?
Not sure how long your clean pee will last? Fair question.
A high-quality product can last up to two years, as long as it has not been opened. Once you open the packaging and create the mixture, you have very little time to use it before your results can be compromised.
Again, it all depends on the brand you choose, so going higher end is better than cheaping out and paying the consequences later. It’s worth it.
If you don’t intend on using your fake piss kit right away then be sure to store the unused kit at room temperature and in a dark spot, away from any direct sunlight. Excessive heat or direct sunlight can affect the pH balance and affect your results when you do go to use it.
Can Synthetic Urine Be Detected?
The short answer is yes. BUT - if you do this correctly you CAN fake a piss exam.
Okay, so that’s not what you want to hear, but here’s the thing, if you don’t buy a quality product, store it correctly, and follow the instructions perfectly, of course, it can be detected.
Fun fact though, drug testing labs actually use synthetic urine to calibrate their urine screening equipment, so when used correctly it is easy to trick the system. Just make sure you follow the instructions on the package EXACTLY.
Unisex Synthetic Urine
You may be wondering if all fake pee kits work for both men and women. It’s actually not a stupid question - chicks and dudes pee differently, right? Most pee kits are unisex, meaning they can be used safely by both girls and guys. Standard lab tests do not typically analyse for gender, meaning you are free and clear.
Actually, most drug assessments are only looking for a few common elements in clean pee including, pH levels, creatinine levels, uric acid, nitrate, urea, glutaraldehyde, as well as color, odor and temperature.
Nitrates, urea and glutaraldehyde are all new compounds being tested because they are not naturally present in pee and will automatically tip off lab technicians that your sample is fake.
What you DO need is a delivery system that’s made for your gender. If you’re doing an unsupervised assessment it doesn’t matter - you can just pour the fake pee in the cup. But if it’s supervised you’re going to need a system like the Whizzinator to fake the actual act of peeing. If you want to learn more about the Whizzinator, check out our review for more info.
Is There a Product Just For Women?
There are synthetic urine kits available on the internet that are advertised solely to women, but don’t be fooled — there is nothing outstanding or different about these products, except maybe for their price tag. Like we said, the only thing that’s going to be different for the ladies is the system to fake the actual act of taking a wizz.
Some brands have created fancy kits for dispensing pee discretely, which is designed for males or females, but otherwise, there is no true difference. We can’t drive home this point enough, though — you must get yourself a high-quality synthetic urine brand if you want to pass your next assessment. They are NOT all created equal. In our experience, Quick Fix is the only brand of synthetic pee that has never failed a test. Check out our review on that brand for more info.
How To Hide Synthetic Pee When Taking A Piss Test
So you’ve prepared your fake piss, it’s all warmed up and ready to go, but what do you do if you have to take the exam at a lab facility (instead of your home) or God forbid, in front of a witness?
Let’s get real for a second, the freak out part about using fake piss is the possibility that you might get caught by detection protocols. We get it. It’s terrifying. The last thing you want is your Saturday night cocaine, marijuana or your alcohol from last night to show up. How will you explain the failed test?
I've been there, I once went for a truck driving job so of course they wanted me to take a piss test (no it wasn't my dream job, but it paid the bills and who doesn't want to be paid $30 an hour to sit on their ass and just drive). This was the first time I decided to use fake urine to pass a test, and I was so nervous.
I brought the pouch of fake pee and had it carefully sitting inside my jocks. Luckily for me, this time they didn't stand in the room to witness the process, but there was nowhere to stash the evidence (the pouch) after I emptied the piss into a cup, and panic set in. So, as an amateur I just popped it back in my jocks and hoped it wouldn't slip through my pants. But this is me we are talking about so of course it did.
As I was walking out the door, the pouch fell to the floor and was in full sight, but luckily the women at the desk wasn't looking, and I quickly knelt down, pretended to tie my shoe laces and swept the pouch up my sleeve, like a fricking magician! It was a lucky save and I got the job, but this is a great story of what not to do.
Luckily for you, we have discovered several sneaky methods for how to hide synthetic pee when taking a piss exam so you don’t get caught. We’ve actually tested these and they work.
Here are a few ideas for you:
- Wear a belt and attach a bag of your fake pee to it. Some manufacturers like Quick Fix have actually created special belts for this very job, but you don’t have to get fancy; just crafty. Depending on who is doing the exam and why it is being done, you may be asked to prove that you are not hiding anything in your pants. It’s always best to prepare for the worst, so sport your belt higher up on your torso. Place it anywhere between your navel and chest and you should be safe.
- One of the best places to hide your fake pee is by taping a satchel of it to your inner thigh. This is just enough out of range that if you are asked to pull down your pants and pull up your shirt, the tester will not see anything.
- For all the ladies out there, use the cup of your bra to plump up your cleavage and store your fake wee. It sounds gross - but remember, it’s fake. So no big deal.
- Get your hands on a prosthetic penis that contains a pouch full of your fake pee and looks very real. The Whizzinator is our brand of choice since it’s the only one that actually looks like a real dick. I've taken over 30 drug tests in my former career in the military and it's worked every time. Check out my Whizzinator review for more info.
- If you feel like getting down and dirty you can purchase small vinyl pouches that can be inserted into your no-no parts. The upside to the obvious downside is that it will keep your fake pee warm naturally so you don’t have to worry about heating it up or trying to find a place to hide heating pads.
Synthetic Pee Reviews: Which is the Best?
First and foremost, to pass a test with fake piss you need to buy a reputable brand. There are plenty of scams on the internet, but our favorite product Quick Fix has an extremely high success rate. In fact, I've never heard of it actually failing (read my Quick Fix review). To be blunt, crappy products will yield negative results, and you will not pass your urine test.
Other products are available of course and can work, but they also have a much higher chance of failure than our preferred choice. We've covered these other products in full and you can check out our opinions by visiting the links below.
How Much Does it Cost?
Alright, so let’s talk cash-o-la. By now you’re probably wondering what the cost of passing your piss test is going to be and are anxiously grinding at the bit to see just how much you’ll need to invest in order to maintain your lifestyle.
The good news is, synthetic piss costs anywhere between $30-100+ at sale price. Depending on the brand and type of product you buy, as well as any additional tools you may need to make it work (heating pads, vinyl pouches, belts, etc.), this can be one of the cheapest plays you can make or a wallet-busting experience. The good news is - now you’ll have this awesome job to cover it.
Where Can I Buy Fake Urine?
So, how do you get your hands on a high-quality product, one that will stand up against all the current laboratory tests, and help you pass your test? Can you get it online or can you get it locally at stores? There is only one place to go and that is the internet. Unfortunately, there are so many copycat brands and scammers out there you really need to be careful when making your purchase.
One of the most searched terms on Google is "synthetic urine near me". However, the best place to buy fake piss is directly from the manufacturer's official website. This will help you avoid fake products that you may discover on eBay or Amazon using the same brand name.
Sometimes scammers even sell EXPIRED products on Amazon and Ebay, which will NOT work during the exam. Don’t get ripped off - just get it straight from the source were you are guaranteed the best sale price.
As we mentioned earlier, lab exams are constantly changing and making it harder for crummy brands to pass the assessment, so you want to buy a product that covers all the bases like Quick Fix.
Choose a product that contains uric acid, one of the most commonly tested components found in real piss. You will also want to get a brand that can be heated up so you can get it to the right temperature — another tell-tale sign of fake vs. real pee.
Finally, choose a product like Quick Fix that has a shelf life of at least one year. This way you don’t have to worry about using it right away or wondering whether or not it will cut the mustard on your big day.
All of the information listed above should be readily available on the website of a reputable brand, and if it’s not then you should either reach out to the manufacturer or move on to something else. When it comes to passing a piss test with fake pee, you don’t want to take any more risks than you already are. Plan ahead, do your research and then reap the rewards of passing your piss exam.
Synthetic pee kits may sound a little too good to be true, but the truth is, products on the market keep getting better and better, and these handy kits can really help you out of a jam. It does not matter if you have taken cocaine, alcohol or marijuana, I'm confident that you will pass your next piss assessment if you follow my lead. I've tried them all, I've tested them all - and Quick Fix really works. Party on dude! You’re safe if you do it right. So if your looking to pass a urine drug test in 24hrs, 2 days, 1 week or even 2 weeks, whatever your deadline is, then Quick Fix synthetic urine is your best choice.
So check out the reviews on this site, get educated, and order your piss kit to get the all clear on your next test.