This review was last updated in March 2019.
(Please Note: Whizzinator states that it is intended for novelty use only. This is my personal experience with an alternative use.)
We’ve all been there: a massive weekend of partying and letting loose and then finding out you’ve got to pass a piss test at work. Nightmare!
You might have over-indulged a little, and now you find yourself in a really tough situation. You’re left making excuses, trying to find some clean piss, or trying to delay the test as much as possible. What can you do?
It happened to me a few months ago, after a week-long road trip with the boys. I found out that I was going to be tested on Monday morning when I got back, and I knew I wasn’t going to pass - there’s no taking it easy with my buddies!
Fact: 43% of all work-related drug tests are "monitored."
Luckily one of the boys worked for the same company and knew it was coming up, so he thought ahead and bought us each a Whizzinator Touch.
I thought he was having a laugh when he whipped it out — it is basically a strap-on cock that allows you to give the impression of you taking a real piss. Was he just giving me a metaphor of what would happen to us once the tests came back? Let’s see.
There are loads of reviews of the original Whizzinator out but none as in-depth as this.
What is a Whizzinator (Our Reviews)?
Let's talk about what it is first. To put things in simple terms, it is a fake dick. That is just exactly what it is.
You strap Whizzinators on (stick with me here boys!) and fill the pouch with artificial piss so that when the doctor asks you to fill a sample cup with a few ounces of your finest, you can whip it out and give them the fake stuff.
It is supposedly a reliable system for taking those urine tests where the doc or the lab assistant insists on watching you fill the cup like a creep. Some people think getting some clean piss is the hard part, but it isn’t.
Getting a clean sample into the cup while you’re being watched takes a good system, and that is where products like these come in.
The product comes with a fake penis, along with the waistband and straps to keep it all in place. I was really surprised at how lifelike the fake dong was.
Granted, my girlfriend could tell it wasn’t real when she got right up close to it (you’d hope so!), but the creepy lab guys won’t be getting that close.
It’s definitely real enough to fool them, especially since they don’t know what I’m really packing - unlike my girlfriend.
The kit also comes with a packet of the synthetic urine, which comes in a powdered form that you can mix and insert into the pouch on the day you need it.
It is important to get a good fake piss product too, as the labs are always finding new ways to detect what is real and what isn’t. The stuff that comes with this device is decent quality, but for the best result, stick with Quick Fix, the #1 product.
You can buy extra packets of the fake stuff when you buy the whole kit, or you can just buy Quick Fix later whenever you think you might have another test coming up.
My buddy had bought a few packs of Quick Fix for each us so that we knew we’d be sorted when our test came up. Most workplaces will test you more than once, so it’s better to be prepared for any random tests.
Also in the kit are some heat pads which make sure your fake piss stays at body temperature. Even the best synthetic urine coming out of a genuine looking fake dick will be seen as highly suspicious if it isn’t the right temperature. Cold piss is a dead giveaway.
If you’d like to find out how everything went...
How Does the Whizzinator Work?
The Whizzinator works by deceiving the lab technician who is there to watch you give your sample. The original Whizzinator is simple to use, meaning to anyone watching you, it looks like you're having a normal piss.
They’ll think they’ve seen you give a genuine sample, and you’ll know that you’re giving them some clean piss. Everyone goes home happy!
On the day you’re expected to give your sample, you make up the fake piss using the synthetic urine powder and inject it into the pouch attached to the artificial schlong.
You then strap it to your body underneath your clothes so that the shaft sits at about the same place as your actual dick.
Then you put one of the heat pads in next to the urine pouch which will help to keep it warm until it is time to take your test.
A properly heated pad will keep the contents of the pouch at the right temperature for up to eight hours, meaning you’ll be ready to go any time throughout the workday.
The artificial pee in the pouch will pour out directly through the Whizzinator when you start the flow by giving it a gentle squeeze to activate.
The guy will see the synthetic urine coming out of your fake penis and assume you are giving a genuine sample.
This means that no matter what you’ve been up to, you’ll be able to pass a test. Nobody needs to know what you like to do in your spare time especially at the weekends when we all like to have some fun(no judgment whatsoever).
They’ll take your synthetic urine away for testing and be none the wiser that it didn’t come out of your real dick and your results will come back clean as it can be.
So, whatever you want to use it for, you can have some peace of mind that it will work 100% of the time as long as you follow the instructions properly. And, to be completely fair, the instructions are as simple as they come.
So, Does it Work?
In my case, it didn’t. You’ll read more about this in the final review, but here’s a hint... IT LEAKED ALL OVER MY PANTS BEFORE I EVEN LEFT HOME. And, I guess you guys know how the rest of the story goes.
Top 3 Uses for the Original Whizzinator
Curious about what other reasons people might use this thing for? I found these while doing my reviews on the product and thought I’d share for S’s & G’s. So, let's get into the details.
1. Producing Synthetic Urine Samples
Urine delivery products combined with the top quality Quick Fix synthetic urine will give you your best chance to pass your next piss test.
When your future is on the line, you want to make sure you’re using the best possible system and Whizzinator isn’t necessarily it. Don’t take this lightly. The last thing you want to do is change your lifestyle for a job.
Hopefully, you won't have to piss in a cup too often, but that doesn’t mean your prosthetic dong needs to gather dust in a drawer somewhere.
There are a million and one situations where you can prank your buddies into thinking the original Whizzinator is the real thing.
Just make sure you do it to a friend and not a random stranger or there might be a physical falling out. Your friend will be horrified and find it funny. Get creative. I’ve found getting a friend in on the prank helps too.
3. Halloween and Costume Parties
Another opportunity to get creative is at Halloween or costume parties. Thought of an idea for a costume which requires getting your dick out, but are afraid to do it because society is so prudish? Strap on your Whizzinator and show the world you’re cool with letting it all hang out.
My buddy and I recreated the comedy sketch “dick in a box,” and when someone opened the box expecting to see a standard fake dong, they saw the Whizzinator which they thought was the real thing.
Is there a Female Version of the Whizzinator?
It isn’t just us men who need to pass piss tests, so there are some options out there for ladies who like to enjoy their spare time too. You don’t have to wear a fake penis for a urine test only - unless you’re into that of course (none of my business!).
The product which is sometimes known as the ‘Female Whizzinator’ is a system for any women who need to pass a test. Basically, it is the same as the regular one just without the fake dong.
The pouch lets out into a small tube, and the user can start the flow by releasing a valve. This can all be done quite discreetly.
Men can use this system too to pass a test (read more). If you know that your test will be done in private (ie, nobody will be watching you piss) you don’t need to go to all of the trouble of setting up your fake dick and can use the Whizz Kit for women instead.
That said, just like the male Whizzinator has its flaws, so does the female Whizz Kit. Instead, take a look at Monkey Whizz which is MUCH more reliable.
The Whizz Kit isn’t too expensive. It’s $59.95 so if you know you won’t be observed it is well worth the price. If you're going to have some creep watch you though, definitely consider the Monkey Dong, as it is the only way you’ll pass.
What Comes With The Product?
The latest model, the Whizzinator Touch (which I have reviewed), is $139.95 and you get the Whizzinator Touch system strap-on device, along with the following:
- 1 Whizzinator Urine sample
- 4 heat pads
- 1 syringe to insert the sample into the pouch
- 1 instruction manual
If you’re concerned about the color of the dong matching your natural skin tone, the Whizzinator comes in five different colors (white, black, tan, latino and brown) so they’ve got you covered. Just pick a color that matches your skin tone.
The Monkey Dong also comes in (more) colors, is more reliable and 15% cheaper than the Whizzinator. So be sure to check it out.
The Monkey Dong is reusable so you can keep it and know that if a piss test ever comes up again, you’ll be safe.
However, if you insist on getting the Whizzinator and not stick with my advice, make sure to find out more on where to buy a real Whizzinator.
There are indeed some even worse knock offs that you do not want to deal with ever.
How to Use The Whizzinator:
The process of using Whizzinators is simple, and if you stick to the step by step guide, it should work as long as you didn't end up with a faulty product.
Step 1: Firstly, you would need to take all the four items, the Whizzinator, dehydrated synthetic urine capsule, heat pads, and the syringe out of the kit.
Open all the straps of the Whizzinator and detach the reservoir bag, which is attached behind the fake penis.
Use the syringe to measure 60-90ml of room temperature water in a separate plastic cup.
Step 2: The dehydrated synthetic urine capsule which comes in a sealed plastic bag needs to be taken out of the bag before using. Then mix the dehydrated synthetic urine with the water you poured into the cup in step 1.
Swirl it for a few seconds to fully mix the urine with the water. Make sure that the content is not heated up too much otherwise the temperature strip on the reservoir bag would shoot to 100+ degrees.
Ideally, the sample needs to be kept between 90 and 100 degrees to pass as fake piss.
Step 3: Then comes the filling of the Whizzinator process.
The reservoir bag of the Whizzinator has a screw cap located at the bottom of the bag. You will need to use the syringe to fill the sample you mixed up in the previous steps.
As mentioned before only fill to a maximum of 130ml to avoid any leakage or bursting of the reservoir bag.
Step 4: Once done with filling the pouch, you can then use the heat pad to keep the sample warm. This is vital, as the first step taken at the lab is to check the sample isn’t too hot or cold.
The heat pad has a sticky side that has to be attached to the back of the reservoir bag of the Whizzinator. The heat pad can keep the sample heated for up to 8 hours. Now the Whizzinator is all set to be used.
If you still need some help getting it right, here’s a quick video with instructions on how to use it properly.
How Do You Clean A Whizzinator?
You clean the Whizzinator by rinsing it out with the cleaning solution available.
This isn’t included in the kit you receive, and if you plan to use it regularly, then you should consider adding it to your order. If you find this device works well, then it’s important to clean it after every use.
The reason is that even synthetic piss will attract bacteria. This will build up in the fake dick causing two issues.
Firstly, it can clog up the tubes, and on the day of the test you could find yourself not being able to release the sample.
Secondly, the bacteria can be picked up during testing and cause it to be flagged as fake because of unnatural bacterial content.
So, make sure you clean it immediately after every use and check that you can still run fresh water through it.
Many urine tests will involve being monitored by an examiner. For this reason, you need to come prepared with a urine delivery system that looks like a penis.
However, in my own experience with this device, I have to say that the Whizzinator has a tendency to leak.
Here’s what happened.
I prepared for my test while at home before I went to work. As I was getting into my car, I looked down at my jeans and noticed a huge stain! Thank God I noticed it then.
Panic attack ensued, so I pulled the old staying-home-sick card and bought myself some time. As you can read from below it was not just me who has had issues with the Whizzinator.
After finding out about this, we definitely went on a rampage on the internet and checked out more reviews of people using it in real-life situations. And what we found was a goldmine.
There are tons of people having issues with the product's ability to retain the liquid inside the container as well as the heating element not being a very reliable option.
And on top of that, the Whizzinator is the most expensive option available right now, so this is totally unacceptable for something priced as high as this.
There are definitely cheaper options if you just looked around a little bit, and lucky for you that's the next thing that we're going to be talking about.
Are there Whizzinator Alternatives?
Anyway, I found a similar but much more reliable alternative product called the Monkey Dong and ordered it with a next day delivery. When it arrived, I did the same preparation again, and everything went smoothly. No leaks.
I even spent a good half an hour trying to test it for leaks, but it didn’t matter how hard I tried, it worked really well.
Using the Monkey Dong is by far the best option out there with high pass rates being reported on many forums.
When giving fake urine, you need the process to look real, or you will get busted.
Piss tests are always a bit nerve-wracking even when you know it's gonna be clean, but this system was so simple it made the whole process smooth sailing.
The guy watching me looked long enough to see the flow start and the jar starting to fill. And when I was done, he seemed none the wiser that he’d been duped. When my results came back clean, I knew me and the boys were on to a winning system!