(Please Note: Whizzinator states that it is intended for novelty use only. This is my personal proven opinion)
You might have over-indulged a little and now you find yourself in a really tough situation. You’re left making excuses, trying to find some clean piss, or trying to delay the test as much as possible. What can you do?
It happened to me a few months ago, after a week long road trip with the boys. I found out that I was going to be tested on the Monday morning I got back and I knew I wasn’t going to pass - there’s no taking it easy with my buddies!
Luckily one of the boys works for the same company and knew it was coming up, so thought ahead and bought us each a Whizzinator Touch. I thought he was having a laugh when he whipped it out - it is basically a strap on cock that allow you to give the impression of your doing a real piss.
Was he just giving me a metaphor of what would happen to us once the tests came back? Turns out this strap-on had some sneaky tricks, which ended up being a lifesaver! There are loads of Whizzinator reviews out on this product but not as in depth as this.
What is a Whizzinator (our reviews)?
In short, it is a fake dick. You strap it on (stick with me here boys!) and fill the pouch with fake piss so that when the doctor asks you to fill a sample cup with a few ounces of your finest, you can whip it out and give them the fake stuff.
It is the perfect and only reliable system for taking those urine tests where the doc or the lab assistant insists on watching you fill the cup like a creep. Some people think getting some clean piss is the hard part, but it isn’t. Getting a clean sample into the cup while you’re being watched takes a good system, and that is where the Whizzinator comes in.
The product comes with the best fake penis on the market, along with the waistband and straps to keep it all in place. I was really surprised at how lifelike the fake dong was. Granted my girlfriend could tell it wasn’t real when she got right up close to it (you’d hope so!) but the creepy lab guys won’t be getting that close. It’s definitely real enough to fool them, especially since they don’t know what I’m really packing - unlike my girlfriend.
The kit also comes with a packet of the synthetic urine, which comes in a powdered form that you can mix and insert into the pouch on the day you need it. It is important to get good fake piss too, as the labs are always finding new ways to detect what is real and what isn’t. The stuff that comes with this device is top quality stuff that will test just like the real thing and give you a clean test meaning you’re scott free!
You can buy extra packets of the fake stuff when you buy the whole kit, or you can just buy it later whenever you think you might have another test coming up. My buddy had bought a few packs for each us so that we knew we’d be sorted when our test came up. Most work places will test you more than once so it’s better to be prepared for any random tests.
Also in the kit are some heat pads which makes sure your fake piss stays at body temperature. Even the best synthetic urine coming out of a genuine looking fake dick will be seen as highly suspicious if it isn’t the right temperature. Cold piss is a dead giveaway.
How Does the Whizzinator Work?
The Whizzinator works by deceiving the lab technician who is there to watch you give your sample. The genius of the Whizzinator is in how simple it is to use, meaning to anyone watching you, it looks like you're having a normal piss. They’ll think they’ve seen you give a genuine sample, and you’ll know that you’re giving them some clean piss. Everyone goes home happy!
The artificial pee in the pouch will pour out directly through the Whizzinator when you start the flow by giving it a gentle squeeze to activate it. The guy will see the synthetic urine coming out of your fake penis and assume you are giving a genuine sample. This means that no matter what you’ve been up to, you’ll be able to pass a test. Nobody needs to know what you like to do in your spare time especially at the weekends were we all like to have some fun.
Instructions on How to Use the Whizzinator
On the day you’re expected to give your sample, you make up the fake piss using the synthetic urine powder and inject it into the pouch attached to the artificial schlong. You then strap it to your body underneath your clothes so that the shaft sits at about the same place as your actual dick.
Then you put one of the heat pads in next to the urine pouch which will help to keep it warm until it is time to take your test. A properly heated pad will keep the contents of the pouch at the right temperature for up to eight hours, meaning you’ll be ready to go any time throughout the work day.
Don’t worry about any leaks. The Whizzinators are designed not to let anything out of the pouch until you’re ready to release. For your piece of mind, you won’t be pissing your pants!
The real genius of the original Whizzinator shows when it is time to deliver your load (we mean pee bro, not the other load). You whip it out and then with one hand can activate the flow. No messing around with switches or buttons that would cause suspicion as it's all done with one hand releasing the valve. To anyone watching it looks just as natural as anyone else taking a leak. When you’ve finished it is just as easy to stop the flow and put your fake junk back away as if it is all normal.
They’ll take your synthetic urine away for testing and be none the wiser that it didn’t come out of your real dick and your results will come back clean.
When I decided to review Whizzinator, I was honestly surprised at how easy it was. I mean piss tests are always a bit nerve wracking even when you know it's gonna be clean, but this system was so simple it made the whole process like smooth sailing. The guy watching me looked long enough to see the flow start and the jar starts to fill and when I was done he seemed none the wiser that he’d been duped. When my results came back clean I knew me and the boys were on to a winning system!
Top 3 Uses for the Whizzinator
Curious about what other reasons people might use this thing for? I found these doing my reviews on the product and thought I’d share for S’s & G’s.
Producing Synthetic Urine Samples
The trusted Whizzinator, combined with the top quality Quick Fix synthetic urine will give you your best chance to pass your next piss test.
When your future is on the line, you want to make sure you’re using the best possible system, and that is what the Whizzinator gives you. You’ll never have to worry about enjoying yourself too much ever again. The last thing you want to do is change your lifestyle for a job.
Hopefully you won't have to piss in a cup too often, but that doesn’t mean your prosthetic dong needs to gather dust in a drawer somewhere. There’s a million and one situations where you can prank your buddies into thinking the Whizzinator is the real thing. Just make sure you do it to a friend and not a random stranger or there might be a physical falling out . Your friend will be horrified and find it funny. Get creative. I’ve found getting a friend in on the prank helps too.
Halloween and Costume Parties
Another opportunity to get creative is at Halloween or costume parties. Thought of an idea for a costume which requires getting your dick out, but are afraid to do it because society is so prudish? Strap on your Whizzinator and show the world you’re looking to let it all hang out. My buddy and I recreated the comedy sketch “dick in a box” and when someone opened the box expecting to see a standard fake dong, they saw the Whizzinator which they thought was the real thing.
Is there a Female Version of the Whizzinator?
It isn’t just us men who need to pass piss tests, so there are some options out there for ladies who like to enjoy their spare time too. You don’t have to wear a fake penis for a urine test only - unless you’re into that of course (none of my business!).
The product which is sometimes known as the ‘Female Whizzinator’ is the perfect system for any women who need to pass a test. Basically it is the same as the regular one just without the fake dong. The pouch lets out into a small tube and the user can start the flow by releasing a valve. This can all be done quite discreetly.
Men can use this system too to pass a test (read more). If you know that your test will be done in private (ie, nobody will be watching you piss) you don’t need to go to all of the trouble of setting up your fake dick and can use the Whizz Kit for women instead.
It is great value at $59.95 meaning if you know you won’t be observed it is well worth the price. If you're gonna have some creep watching you though, definitely consider the full Whizzinator Touch, as it is the only way you’ll pass. The Whizz Kit comes with one sample and two heat pads in the full kit and like the Whizzinator is fully reusable.
Another option for women is the compact “Lil Whizz Kit”. This one is purely for one-time use only and comes with pouch pre filled with the synthetic urine. This one doesn’t have the fake penis, so it can’t be used for men who will have to give their sample in front of a doctor. It costs $54.95 and comes with everything you need to give one good sample.I would only recommend buying the Lil Whizz Kit if you know for certain it’s a one-off test. You always want backup supplies for peace of mind.
How Much Does it Cost to Buy?
The price of the product has came down over the last 5 years due to such popular demand with more employees asking for samples. The latest model - the Whizzinator Touch (which I have reviewed) - comes fully loaded with everything you need to pass your next piss test. For $139.95 you get the Whizzinator Touch system strapon device, along with all of the following:
1 Whizzinator Synthetic Urine sample
4 heat pads
1 syringe to insert the sample into the pouch
1 instruction manual
If you’re concerned about the color of the dong matching your natural skin tone, you don’t need to. The Whizzinator comes in five different colors (white, black, tan, latino and brown) so they’ve got you covered. Just pick a colour that matches your skin tone.
The best part is that the Whizzinator kit is reusable so that you can keep it and know that if a piss test ever comes up again you’ll be safe. While the main kit comes with one synthetic urine sample, you can purchase more for just $15 each, either when you make your first purchase or later on when you need them. The Whizzinator is easy to clean, so you don’t have to worry about keeping a product that smells of fake piss (hint, it smells like the real thing!).
Where is the Best Place to Buy the Whizzinator Kit?
With something like this you want to make sure you’re buying from someone you can trust. Don’t ever buy from eBay or Amazon as there are actually a lot of fakes out there that claim to be as good as the original but they just don’t cut it. One of the guys from my work got busted using a fake dick that was laughably bad. Needless to say he won’t be working with us anymore. I definitely recommend going to a trusted seller who has been selling these things for a while now. Find out more on where to buy a real Whizzinator.
They also have the best quality synthetic urine on the market. The labs are using more and more advanced techniques every day to test for synthetic piss, but these guys stay ahead of the game to make sure you get top grade stuff every time. They are constantly monitoring lab testing techniques which allows them to improve the Whizzinator when needed.
Some sketchy websites are trying to pass off stuff that wouldn’t fool you senile grandmother. If you try using that stuff, you’ll be ending up like my former work colleague, and nobody wants that. So the moral of the story is always buy from registered sellers of the Whizzinator.
Many urine tests will involve you getting monitored from an examiner. Using the Whizzinator is by far the best option out there in the market with high pass rates being reported on many forums. I would highly recommend the Whizzinator if there is even a slight chance you have a supervisor watching over you during the test. When giving fake urine, you need the process to look real or you will get busted.