This review was last updated in May 2019.
While heavily armed public servants entrusted to maintain order and safeguard the rights of citizens (aka the police) are not tested for drugs, the young lady that just processed your rent-a-car transaction is probably tested regularly.
That's just one indication of how upside down the entire drug testing phenomenon has become -- and there’s no indication it’s going to change anytime soon.
As such, honest, hard working people like yourself need protection from overzealous, misguided companies and their poorly considered drug tests.
That’s where Monkey Flask enters the picture.
But, is it any good?
What Is a “Monkey Flask”?
The term “Monkey” doesn’t have any special significance as far as the product itself is concern.
Monkey Flask is just one of several items from a company called “Serious Monkey Business."
SMB specializes in things like Monkey Flask, designed to help ordinary people keep their jobs but certainly not designed for illegal purposes.
At the heart of the Monkey Flask synthetic urine kit is the company's high-quality fake pee.
This is the same fake pee used in their Monkey Whizz belt kit and by all accounts is a fine product.
The kit also contains the flask of the product name (more on that below) along with a simple heat pad, an integrated temperature strip, and comprehensive instructions on how to use it.
What those instructions didn’t explain is how you’re supposed to transfer the pee from the flask to the sample cup without a loud click emanating from the safety sealed cap.
Our testing indicates you’re pretty much left holding the flask when it comes to that.
It just goes about its business helping you submit a sample to get a clean drug test result in a nice, quiet fashion.
What Comes with the Monkey Flask?
The Monkey Flask fake pee kit comes with 3.5 ounces of the company’s well-regarded premixed fake pee complete with uric acid.
The uric acid is important, as is the “premixed” part because the last thing you want on test day is to be stressing whether or not you did a good job of mixing the product.
Which is often the case when you have to work with powdered pee.
The stuff smells realistic enough and comes with a simple heat pad which is supposed to make it easy to keep your sample hot enough for up to 8 hours.
But, our testing indicates you should take that 8-hour claim with a sizeable grain of salt and perhaps heat it in the microwave before heading out.
In addition, there is an integrated temperature strip which may, in theory, allow you to check the temperature of your sample.
But, there are a number of factors that could negatively impact its accuracy, so again, be skeptical.
However, that’s not the real problem here.
Does the Monkey Flask Work?
It’s not unusual for a company to hit the nail on the head with one product and barely beat out a broken bat single - or fail outright - with another.
And, that’s pretty much the case here.
SMB Monkey Flask is a generally reliable fake piss kit.
But, it’s the snap-on, snap-off cap on the flask that is the deal breaker.
Using a plastic bottle of any kind during a drug test is tricky enough.
But, one that makes such an obvious clicking sound when you open and close it is going to result in your being outed before you ever get a chance to use the high-quality fake pee inside.
Nothing would make us happier than to sing the praises of the Monkey Flask fake urine kit as well. But, the thing that separates the good kits from the bad in this field is a something called "discretion."
So, when a product makes it more difficult to go about your business in a discreet manner, then it needs to be called out for it.
How Much Does Monkey Flask Cost?
If there is an upside to Monkey Flask, it's the price, which is a fairly reasonable $30.
But, the idea of using this product alone to try and obtain a successful outcome from a test seems more like wishful thinking than anything else.
If it were us, we'd just spend a little more and pick up the Monkey Whizz kit and not mess around with the Monkey Flask.
Where Can I Buy It?
If tempting fate is your idea of fun, or if you happen to know that the people conducting your upcoming test are hard of hearing, you can pick up the Monkey Flask synthetic urine kit at the SMB website: www.seriousmonkeybizzness.com.
The question is “Why would you, when you can get a better, more reliable product from the same producer for just a little bit more?”
Sure, some folks like living on the edge and that approach may work when it comes to extreme sports.
But, when it comes to keeping your good job, your approach should be to eliminate, rather than cultivate, risk.
So are we going to recommend Monkey Flask?
Unfortunately, we can’t.
The company needs to ditch this particular cap design and come up with something quieter before we could do that.
But, we’re not down on Serious Monkey Business as a company. In fact, we'd encourage you to try their basically better and reliable Monkey Whizz synthetic urine kit.
It’s only a few dollars more and should remove some of the uncertainty surrounding your upcoming test.