This Monkey Dong review was last updated in June 2021.
Table of Contents
That’s where the Monkey Dong comes in.
So what is it exactly? The Monkey Dong, manufactured and marketed by Serious Monkey Bizzness, is a strap-on urination device that dispenses fake pee.
It looks and acts just like the real thing. Not only do you get clean synthetic urine, but also a lifelike prosthetic penis that matches your skin color. That way, the person watching over you will never suspect that it’s fake pee.
Based on my research, this is one of the more reputable fake pee kits on the market, with many positive reviews online of people passing their drug tests with ease.
What Can You Use The Monkey Dong For?
Personally, I don’t judge what you decide to do outside of the workplace, as long as you’re not hurting other people. But unfortunately, I don’t make the rules.
It just so happens that more and more companies are enforcing mandatory drug tests. 
Since bringing in someone else’s urine sample is not a recommended option if the test is monitored, the folks at Serious Monkey Bizzness were creative enough to make a urination device to match various skin tones.
I read one review after another, and they all said the same thing – the Monkey Dong had been a life saver. Using the Monkey Dong urination device could be a great decision if you’re looking for a set of fake pee products to maintain your current lifestyle and still be able to pass a drug test.
If you’re worried that it won’t work for you, or you’ll get caught because it’s hard to use, let me explain how easy it is to pass a screening using this prosthetic penis. It’s so simple; you only need one hand to use it.
Here’s How To Use Monkey Dong to Pass a Drug Test
Using Monkey Dong is no sweat! A request for a drug screening can put you in a nerve-racking position if you’re worried you’ll fail, so go for the stress-free solution that’s guaranteed to work every time.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to use the Monkey Dong:
- Release the exterior safety valve of the bladder where the fake pee goes
- Draw the urine into the syringe (included in the package)
- Squeeze the tip of the dong and insert the syringe into the pee hole
- Inject the contents into the bladder
- Close the safety valve to keep all the pee inside
- An hour before your test, unfasten the velcro of your elastic belt and apply one of the heating pads to it
- Strap on the belt, with the temperature strip touching your skin
- When the temperature strip reaches 96-100 degrees, you’re ready to give your sample
- Open the safety valve, squeeze the tip of the Dong, and release the pee into the cup
That’s all there is to it!
All you need to do is ensure you have your urine at the right temperature when it’s time to hand over the drug test sample.
That way, when the pee is checked after the drug test, it will look like your body created it!
Now we’ve covered the urination part, what if you need to give the sample in front of someone at the facility, instead of doing it alone in a bathroom?
Does It Come in Different Skin Colors?
You bet your sweet ass it does! The Dong urination device comes in six natural-looking colors, to make sure no one suspects what you’re up to, even if you’re “exposed” during the drug test.
You can find it available in a color that matches your skin tone. Choose from light white, white, tan, Latino, brown or black.
But let’s not forget there are other fake piss dispensers available too.
Which ones are the best and guaranteed to work every time? Check out how Monkey Dong compares to the Whizzinator when passing a drug test.
Monkey Dong VS Whizzinator: Which Fake Piss Dispenser Is Better?
I’ve heard about people who have used the Whizzinator before during a drug test, and it’s quite different from my experience with Monkey Dong.
From what I’ve gathered, Monkey Dong works better for three main reasons: price, silent valve, and customer service.
As you can see from a closed Facebook group below, one customer tried both for his drug test and the Monkey Dong came out on top.
The Monkey Dong has the edge over the competition, in that it is way cheaper. It costs 35% less than the Whizzinator!
Now, let’s be honest here: if you’re looking for a product to help you pass a pre-employment drug test screening, you probably don’t have a job at the moment. So it makes sense to save money while still getting an effective solution to your problem.
Also, why pay more for a product that doesn’t even work as well?
The Whizzinator’s valve is less than perfect. It sounds more like a door opening than a switch being turned. That alone can get you in trouble, if you’re being watched while giving your sample during a drug test.
On the other hand, Monkey Dong’s valve is as silent as it gets. Even if there’s someone in the room with you, you can quickly open the valve without being heard.
Monkey Dong’s customer service is fantastic! I had a bunch of questions on my first go-around. When I called them, I got answers fast and full explanations, which really put my mind at ease.
Serious Monkey Bizzness offers both a toll-free line (in America) and a number where you can reach their customer support from abroad. You’re welcome, Canadians!
Considering the factors above, it’s not hard to decide which synthetic urine product offers the best value for purchase. Are you ready to get yours?
Our #1 Choice?
The Monkey Dong
The Monkey Dong synthetic urine kit is available at a bargain in comparison to the competition. If you’re not satisfied with your purchase, you can get a full refund for up to 30 days after the purchase date.
It really is a no-brainer!
Make sure you buy the Monkey Dong fake pee dispenser online directly from the manufacturer. The synthetic urine product is available in 157 locations in the US and Canada, but buying from the manufacturer is the only way to be certain you’re getting the real deal.
There are some local stores that sell it, but they are difficult to find and can be unreliable at times. We’ve talked to people who have gotten a fake or broken synthetic urine product from a local smoke shop.
The lifespan of the synthetic urine product is up to one year from your purchase, which means the stuff does expire. Buying directly means that you won’t get stuff that’s no longer effective.
With your substance screening fast approaching, you have several options right now:
- Try to detox on your own (good luck)
- Come up with your own synthetic urine sample and hope it’s up to par, or
- Buy this fake pee product and be sure you’ll get your drug test right and land the job!
What’s it gonna be?
My advice? Get your Monkey Dong synthetic urine dispenser today and pass your drug test without stress!
Final Verdict: Monkey Dong WORKS!
Based on my experience, I can comfortably recommend the Monkey Dong urination device. You can be sure you’ll get the best cost and value solution to your drug test problem. Not only does it have quality synthetic urine, but it’s also easy to use and practically guaranteed to work for a drug test!
If you’re still worried about whether this fake pee will pass the drug test, let me assure you it behaves as urine should – it also looks, smells, and foams like urine. You can get a dong that matches your skin tone, so you’re covered even if they make you urinate with someone else in the room.
Most importantly, don’t waste your money on a cheap knock-off or the Whizzinator. For obvious reasons, you don’t want a synthetic urine product that will leak.
Let us know about your experience with the Monkey Dong synthetic urine dispenser!