This review was last updated in February 2019.
Don’t Even Think Of Buying The Monkey Dong Dispenser Before You Read This Review!
Imagine this scenario: you nailed the job interview, and you’re only one step away from getting the position. The only problem is your employer asked for a mandatory drug test, and you need to give a pee sample within 24 hours.
Man, why’d you smoke that joint the other day? How are you gonna pass the substance screening?
There’s a possibility it might be a supervised test, so asking somebody else to fill up a cup for you is not going to help. Sneaking in your friend’s pee could be an option, but there’s no guarantee theirs is clean either. On top of that, someone might be watching when you give your piss sample.
That’s where the Monkey Dong comes in.
A bro who was once in your shoes developed this amazing urinating device that produces fake pee, which looks and acts just like the real thing.
Not only do you get clean urine, but also a life-like dong that matches your skin color. That way, the guy watching over you will never suspect a thing.
Relax and breathe - there’s no need to panic.
Let me tell you why this is one of the best synthetic urine kits on the market that will help you pass.
What Can You Use The Monkey Dong For?
Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with smoking a joint every now and then (and neither do an increasing number of state governments), but unfortunately, I don’t make the rules. And it just so happened my boss decided to run a surprise drug screening exactly the day after I smoked.
Since bringing in someone else’s sample was not an option, I turned to our good friend, the internet. And there it was: Monkey Dong - a strap-on urinating device with fake pee that could pass as the real stuff.
Could it really be that simple? I had my doubts in the beginning. After all, how could a lab test not be able to tell the difference between human urine and artificial urine?
But then I read one review after another, and they all said the same thing - the Monkey Dong had been a life-saver.
So I thought: What the hell?
Let’s give it a try. If they tested my real piss, I would fail for sure. At least with this stuff I had a chance.
Using the Monkey Dong was the best decision I ever made!
I got the job AND kept living my lifestyle, so win-win.
If you’re worried, it won’t work for you or you’ll get caught because it’s hard to use, just hear me out. Let me explain to you how easy it is to cheat a screening using this natural-looking dispenser.
Here’s How To Use Monkey Dong to Pass a Test
Using Monkey Dong is no sweat! A request for a screening can put you in a nerve-racking position if you’re worried you’ll fail, so shoot for the stress-free solution that’s guaranteed to work every time.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to use the Monkey Dong:
- Release the exterior safety valve of the bladder where the fake pee goes
- Draw the urine into the syringe (included in the package)
- Squeeze the tip of the dong and insert the syringe into the pee hole
- Inject the contents into the bladder
- Close the safety valve to keep all the pee inside
- An hour before your test, unfasten the velcro of your elastic belt and apply one of the heat pads to it
- Strap on the belt with the temperature strip touching your skin
- When the temperature reaches 96-100 degrees, you’re ready to give your sample
- Open the safety valve, squeeze the tip of the Dong, and release the pee into the cup
All you need to do is make sure you have your urine (www.urinedrugtesthq.com) at the right temperature when it’s time to hand over the sample.
That way, when the piss is checked, it will look like your body made it!
Now we’ve covered the urinating part, but what if instead of giving the sample alone in a bathroom, you need to do it in front of someone at the facility?
Does It Come in Different Skin Colors?
You can bet your sweet ass it does! The Dong comes in six natural colors, to make sure no one suspects what you’re up to, even if you’re “exposed”.
You can find it available in a color that matches your skin tone. Choose from light white, white, tan, Latino, brown or black.But let’s not forget there are other fake piss dispensers available too.
Which ones are the best and guaranteed to work every time? Check out how Monkey Dong compares to the Whizzinator.
Monkey Dong VS Whizzinator: Which Fake Piss Dispenser Is Better?
I’ve heard about people who used the Whizzinator before, and it’s different from my experience with Monkey Dong. From what I’ve gathered, Monkey Dong works better for three main reasons: price, silent valve, and customer service. As you can see from a closed Facebook group below one customer tried both with the Monkey Dong coming out top.
The Monkey Dong has the edge over the competition in that it is way cheaper. It costs 35% less than the Whizzinator!
Now, let’s be honest here: if you’re looking for a product to help you pass a pre-employment drug screen, you are probably out of a job at the moment. So it makes sense to save money when you can still get a great solution to your problem.
Plus, why pay more for a product that doesn’t even work as well?
The Whizzinator’s valve is less than perfect. It sounds more like a door opening than a switch being turned. That alone can get you in trouble if you’re being watched while giving your sample.
On the other hand, Monkey Dong’s valve is as silent as it gets. Even if there’s someone in the room with you, you can quickly open the valve without being heard.
Monkey Dong’s customer service is fantastic! I had a bunch of questions on my first go-around and called them. I got answers fast and full explanations. It really put my mind at ease.
They offer both a toll-free line (in America) and a number where you can reach their customer support from abroad. Canadians, you’re welcome!
Considering the factors above, it’s not hard to decide which product offers the best value for purchase. Are you ready to get yours?
Our #1 Choice?
The Monkey Dong
The Monkey Dong kit is available at a bargain in comparison to the competition. If you’re not satisfied with your purchase, you can get a full refund for up to 30 days after the purchase date.
It’s really a no-brainer!
Make sure you buy it online directly from the manufacturer. The product is available in 157 locations in the US and Canada, but buying from the manufacturer is the only way to be certain you’re getting the real deal. There are some local stores that sell it but they are hard to find and unreliable at times. Yes, we've talked to people that have gotten a fake product or a broken one from buying at a local smoke shop.
The lifespan of the product is good for up to one year from your purchase so the stuff does expire. Buying direct means, you won’t get stuff that’s no longer good.
With your substance screening fast approaching, you have several options right now:
- Try to detox on your own (good luck)
- Come up with your own pee sample and hope it’s up to par, or
- Buy this product and be sure you’ll get it right and land the job!
What’s it gonna be?
Get your Monkey Dong today and pass your drug test without stress!
Final Verdict: Monkey Dong WORKS!
When you order, you can be sure you’ll get the best cost-value solution to your problem. Not only does it have the best synthetic urine on the market, it’s easy to use and guaranteed to work!
If you’re still worried about whether this fake piss will pass the test, let me assure you it behaves as urine should - it also looks, smells and foams like urine. You can get a dong that matches your skin color, so you’re covered even if they make you pee with someone else in the room.
Most importantly, don’t waste your money on a cheap knock off or the Whizzinator competitor product. For obvious reasons, you don't want a product that will leak.
I just checked and Monkey dong is actually on sale this month so act fast if you want to take advantage of this deal.